just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Drunk is not a location!
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
