C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
