would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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