It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You've changed since you got that strap on
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
