i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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