Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I could fuck to npr.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
