Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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