i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
