A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
My ATM looks so different sober.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
