I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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