I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
