I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
