I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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