i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
