Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
