I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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