How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
