my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
