Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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