I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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