A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
it's great music for shaving your balls
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Hippo gnu deer
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
