school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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