I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
