You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Randomize
