I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
