All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
