Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
this just has baby written all over it
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
