he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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