so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
