I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
