if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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