Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
