She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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