at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
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