life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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