i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
