Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Randomize
