I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
