this boner is exhausting
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
