we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
