They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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