My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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