she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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