I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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