We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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