Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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