you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
