his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
