He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
