Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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