how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
