I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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